Bernard Cairns was admitted to Dr Kershaw’s Inpatient Unit in January 2023 after becoming seriously unwell just four months earlier. He was able to spend his last days in a peaceful, supportive environment with his family by his side, something his daughters will be forever grateful for.
“We regret not getting Dad to the Hospice sooner — it felt like a weight lifted”
In September 2022, Bernard became very ill and was diagnosed with myeloma, a form of blood cancer. Over the following months, he spent time in and out of hospital. As his health deteriorated further, his daughters Vicki and Deborah made the decision for their Dad to be admitted to Dr Kershaw’s Hospice. Bernard received care in a peaceful environment and was able to create precious memories with his family by his side, before he sadly died on 11th January 2023, aged 74. Vicki and Deborah reflect on their experience and share why, looking back, they wish they had brought their Dad to the Hospice sooner…
Bernard was a devoted family man, married to his wife Anne for 54 years. Together they built a close and loving family with their daughters Deborah and Vicki, grandchildren Joe and Hope, and their three great grandchildren.
Bernard grew up in Edinburgh and moved to Manchester at 19, where he met Anne in a club. He worked as a postman for most of his life and was known for his incredible work ethic, rarely ever taking time off. He was loyal, dependable, and deeply committed to both his family and friends.
Above all, Bernard loved being around people. His daughters remember a man who could talk to anyone, whether it was neighbours, friends, or even staff in local shops. He enjoyed football, especially Scotland and Oldham Athletic, holidays in Benidorm, chippy dinners, and above all, time with his family. His grandchildren loved sleepovers at their grandparents’ house, as they could always watch whatever they wanted to on TV.
Vicki, Bernard’s youngest daughter, said: “Dad just loved life. He was always holidaying, especially in Benidorm. I miss him — it doesn’t feel real that he’s gone. I’m grateful he was able to walk me down the aisle the year before he died.”
We arrived at Dr Kershaw’s and straight away felt a sense of calm and relief. After a difficult experience in hospital, the Hospice felt more personal, more peaceful, and more supportive.
In September 2022, Bernard became seriously unwell. He lost mobility, began chemotherapy, and was diagnosed with myeloma alongside other infections. Over time, his condition deteriorated, and by Christmas Eve 2022, his health had declined significantly. Bernard was admitted to hospital for 12 days before moving to Dr Kershaw’s Hospice on 10th January 2023, and for Vicki and Deborah, the difference was immediate.
“We arrived at Dr Kershaw’s and straight away felt a sense of calm and relief. After a difficult experience in hospital, the Hospice felt more personal, more peaceful, and more supportive.
There was just a weight lifted when we arrived. It felt so relaxed, there was no pressure, and it didn’t feel clinical at all. After 12 days in hospital, where one of us was always by Dad’s side, it was the first time we felt able to sit down together and have a brew in Café K knowing Dad was close by, in a safe and caring environment.
The care was amazing and the facilities were just lovely. Staff took time to talk with us properly, explaining everything with patience and sensitivity, without ever rushing us.
The small things also made a big difference — the comfort of the family lounge, the free car park with spaces always available and the little comfort packs we were given so we could shower and stay over to be closer to Dad.
Dad’s room at the Hospice felt like a hotel room, it didn’t feel clinical at all. We brought Dad’s great-grandson to visit, and it was so homely he thought his great-grandad was simply “in bed.” One moment that went above and beyond for us was a housekeeper buying our grandson a small toy from reception, so he had something to play with during the visit.
We felt like nothing was too much to ask. The staff were thoughtful and extremely attentive, and that made all the difference.
We were able to stay with Dad without worry, and the environment gave us the space to simply be together, alongside the reassurance of familiar, consistent staff.
Dad passed away peacefully at 6:30am on 11th January 2023, and we were able to stay with him for as long as we wanted which was a blessing.”
A lasting impact
Vicki and Deborah scattered their Dad’s ashes in Benidorm and Edinburgh — two places that held special meaning in his life.
The family describe the Hospice not only as a place where Bernard was cared for, but where they were supported through one of the most difficult moments of their lives. Looking back, both daughters expressed one shared feeling — regret that they hadn’t brought their Dad to the Hospice sooner.
Deborah, Bernard’s eldest daughter said: “I can understand now why people want to come to the Hospice. It was such a peaceful, supportive place. We decided to ask for donations at the funeral so other families can have the same experience.”
🩷 Because every moment matters 🩷
I can understand now why people want to come to the Hospice. It was such a peaceful, supportive place. We decided to ask for donations at the funeral so other families can have the same experience.