A final Father’s Day to treasure

Brian was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2011.Ten years later it had spread to his spine, and he was admitted to Dr Kershaw’s Hospice for end-of-life-care, where on June 29^th 2022, he sadly died, aged 87. Spending his last Father’s Day with his family in such a beautiful, peaceful setting gave Brian’s loved ones lasting memories that they will treasure and forever be grateful for…

“Dad was the most positive, happy, contented man that I’d ever know. I’d never seen him say a bad word about anyone. Dad was married to Monica for 30 years before she passed away. I was Dad’s only child, and he had four grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

His last job was running a launderette with his wife, Monica, and Dad would often collect and return washing for elderly people, helping out wherever he could. Dad had lots of interests and a very full social life; he was a season ticket holder for Oldham Athletic, enjoyed metal detecting with a local club, loved making mosaics and even took up the ukulele later in life. Before Covid, he also enjoyed ballroom dancing and regular dancing holidays to St Anne’s. Despite being so active socially, Dad also loved nothing more than sitting in his garden. I surprised him by having it done up while he was on his last holiday, and he was absolutely thrilled when he came home — he loved it!

Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2011. Ten years later, a scan showed the cancer had spread to his spine, and we were told he had between three and twelve months to live. We were all heartbroken. The following year, Dad became unwell with Covid and pneumonia and spent some time in hospital. He then had a heart attack and was placed on end-of-life-care on 10^th June 2022, which was actually my birthday.

Dad was then admitted to Dr Kershaw’s Hospice. I was so upset as I’d never been in a Hospice before and thought it would be doom and gloom. It felt like we would walk in and it would be the final curtain. Instead, when I walked into the family lounge, I couldn’t get over how peaceful the atmosphere was. The gardens are beautiful and the staff were amazing; it was worlds apart from the previous care settings Dad had experienced.

We could contact Dad whenever we wanted, often phoning at night to receive updates, which gave us real peace of mind. When someone you love is dying, the last thing you need is to worry about the care they are receiving, and every time I left the Hospice I knew Dad was being looked after. The staff couldn’t do enough for us; they never rushed their care or conversations and that made all the difference. I had been so worried that Dad would be sent to a nursing home to spend his final days, but instead he was cared for in a peaceful, supportive environment, which was a huge comfort to us all.

When Dad first came into the Hospice, he was worried, but after a couple of days he told me, “it’s brilliant.” His face would light up when the staff came into his room and he built relationships with everyone he met. Dad felt loved and cared for, and it’s hard to imagine him being anywhere else at the end of his life. It just felt like home. Having the family lounge meant we could spend meaningful time together outside of his room, and I loved being able to stay and have my tea with him.

On Dad’s last Father’s Day, just before he died, he had the most perfect day. He was wheeled into the beautiful gardens, and shared a three-course meal with his family; myself, his grandson and granddaughter. The room was decorated with Father’s Day banners, the atmosphere was relaxed and it became one of the most precious memories we have of our final times with Dad.

Dad sadly died in June 2022 after being cared for at the Hospice for 22 days. If there is a perfect place for someone to pass away it would be Dr Kershaw’s Hospice.

After Dad passed, I still felt cared for by the staff at Dr Kershaw’s. They rang me a few days later to see how I was doing and gave me the option of going in to speak to the team if I felt I needed to.

Since Dad died, I wanted to support the Hospice in any way I could. I signed up as a lottery member, I have made Light Up a Life dedications in his memory, and we asked people to donate to the Hospice at his funeral in lieu of flowers. I hope that by supporting the Hospice, it will continue to be there for other families, providing future patients with the same compassionate care and peaceful surroundings that meant so much to Dad and to us. That’s why leaving a gift in your Will is so important, even 1 % of your Will would make a real difference. It would help the Hospice to continue to provide special care and precious memories for future patients and families just like we had, and for that I will be forever grateful.”